the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I know her cup size but not her name....
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