If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Randomize
