i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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