he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Randomize
