I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
of course. lets lasso hookers.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
