Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i just had sex bonerless
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
