how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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