he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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