Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Randomize
