the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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