If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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