It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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