yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
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