this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
