Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
