youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
