I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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