I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
