No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
