so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
