i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
