Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
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