I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
You're breaking my sexual little heart
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
