I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I smell like Dick and happiness
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
