and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Found the puke drawer
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
