Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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