I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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