So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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