We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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