Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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