just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
