God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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