Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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