the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
In other news, I just burned my penis
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
