The maid of honor just puked.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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