Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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