I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I puked a lego.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
