I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
