i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
