I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Randomize
