How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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