can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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