Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
high people should be assigned attendants
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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