How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Randomize
