I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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