pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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