just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
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