I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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