How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
