Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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