But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
