Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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