So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Randomize
